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Adult Children of Divorce

By Rachel Fishman Green

Most professionals in our area of the law hate custody trials. We see how children are pulled apart by the inability of their parents to resolve their disputes; the pressure children face when they are put in the middle of a conflict and the pain of submitting to examinations by different experts, psychologists, lawyers and judges. Those of us who practice responsibly try to inform our clients, to the extent possible, of the risks to their children. We caution them, when we see them spinning off into their anger, or their desire for revenge, to think of their children. We advise them to hire therapists for children who are having trouble. We tell them to encourage their children to attend school-run groups for children whose parents are divorcing.

But is it possible to know what will be the long-term effects of this experience on children? The experts all seem to agree that the most stressful and harmful thing to children is active conflict in the home – yelling and fighting between the parents — but there has been much less consensus regarding the long-term effects of divorce on children. When advising our clients, it would be helpful to have some good information to work with.

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