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The Place to Network: The Business Meal

By Timothy Corcoran

The scene: a bustling upscale restaurant in Manhattan on a cold January evening. Five lawyers share a bottle of fine wine at a corner table as a waiter delivers the entr'es. Three lawyers are Biglaw partners hoping to win some work from the other two, who are senior in-house lawyers with a major packaged goods manufacturer. One of the in-house lawyers, Ted, participated in a panel discussion with Jack, one of the partners, a few hours earlier at an industry conference. As the waiter presents Ted with his entr'e, it's clear that a mistake has been made. Instead of the crab cake special, the waiter has brought a very exclusive stone crab appetizer that costs nearly four times the price of any entr'e. Ted is embarrassed ' while experienced in the ways of business meals, it is not his style to dine extravagantly on another's expense account. The waiter is embarrassed too, but prepared to quickly make amends. However, Jack leaps in to save the day. He reaches across his partner and snatches Ted's entr'e. Jack then shoves his own entr'e at the waiter, barking at the young man to take this to the kitchen and return right away with Ted's crab cakes! Problem solved. Ted will eventually get his crab cakes, Jack eagerly devours the delicious stone crab entr'e, and everyone lives happily ever after.

Except that Ted was miffed at Jack's unseemly actions. Ted would have happily eaten the stone crab platter, after insisting on paying the extra cost. The waiter, as it turns out, was prepared to give the stone crab dish to the table to share, compliments of the house, and return with Ted's crab cakes. In either scenario, everyone wins. But Jack's actions, likely an honest attempt to show a take-charge attitude, backfired. Ted has two children in college, both of whom wait tables, and he was offended at the officious manner in which Jack treated the waiter. Furthermore, Jack's approach left Ted with no option other than to watch the others eat as he waited patiently for his delayed entr'e. And, of course, one doesn't have to be an etiquette expert to recognize that reaching across the table to snatch food from a dining companion is poor form. Jack and his partners didn't win any work. As they explained at the next practice group meeting, Ted and his colleague selected another firm that must have undercut their rates to try to get in the door.

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