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The Guardian <i>Ad Litem</i> As Mediator

By Frances Z. Calafiore
August 01, 2003

In the high-conflict divorce, try as it may, a court has little to offer minor children caught in Mom and Dad's crossfire. Regrettably, in many, if not most, instances, the more resources directed toward high conflict divorces, the more opportunity for escalating the conflict, unintended though it may be. One of the reasons for this entrenching of positions seems to be the identification of a specific role with its concomitant stance for everyone involved.

Battling spouses by definition must be diametrically opposed to whatever the other thinks is a good idea or considers fair, reasonable or in the best interest of the children. This is a basic tenet of high-conflict divorce. Enter divorce litigators. This spousal polarity is reinforced, if not out-and-out encouraged, by their legal posturing and advice to “shoot-for-the-moon.” Very few divorce litigators worry about what's fair and reasonable, especially if it's moneyed high conflict. Now come the kids. The children have, hands down, the toughest lot. Adversarial divorce places children squarely in the middle of the fray with no cover.

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