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When Grandparents Take On the Parental Role

By Janice G. Inman
September 01, 2004

Although statistics tell us the rates of teenage pregnancy in the United States are going down, the number of underage parents is still high as compared with generations past. More than a few parents will find themselves having to deal with the news that their teenager will soon make them a grandparent. Some may choose to help raise that grandchild by obtaining legal custody over it. Over time, because they may be doing the bulk of (or all of) the child rearing and are probably providing the grandchild with much of its financial support, such grandparents may come to think of their grandchild as one of their own. Any interruption of that relationship could prove traumatic, both for the grandparent and for the grandchild. Many grandparents who gain custody of a grandchild — usually with the consent of one or both of the child's parents — believe they have acquired rights over the child that they'll retain unless they voluntarily give him/her up. This is not the case, and grandparents (or aunts, uncles, etc.) in such custodial situations must be made aware of the limited rights they acquire when they obtain mere legal custody over a child, as opposed to adopting it.

If the natural parent of the child decides at a later date that he or she wants the child back, the custodian must generally prove that the parent abandoned the child or is otherwise unfit. As non-parent third parties, grandparents are at a disadvantage because under New York law, it is presumptively in a child's best interest to be raised by a parent where the court has determined that the parent is fit and that he or she has not abandoned the child. N.Y. Fam. Ct. Act ” 614, 651. If abandonment or unfitness to parent the child cannot be shown, the custodian's only remaining hope for retaining custody is to show that “extraordinary circumstances” exist that dictate the child should remain in the grandparent's care. Matter of Bennett v. Jeffreys, 40 N.Y.2d 543, 544, 356 N.E.2d 277, 387 N.Y.S.2d 821 (1976).

Grandparents At a Disadvantage

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