Reentering the Workforce After Divorce

For matrimonial clients, making their way through the emotional, logistical, financial and practical obstacles in divorce is obviously challenging. One of the most empowering and intimidating of these challenges for some spouses is beginning new employment, especially after years of absence from the job market. Whether it's an employment gap of 18 months or 18 years, it is scary ' and sometimes paralyzing ' to return to the workplace. And to make it even more stressful, the non-working spouse usually needs to find employment and income very quickly.

As we all well know, the greatest difficulty in this regard is experienced by women who have put careers on hold while caring for children, aging parents, or both. These women are not alone. According to the latest data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, nearly 40% of all women in the workforce are mothers with children under 18 years of age. The Center for Work Life Policy says that 60% of working women will step back in their careers or leave the workforce completely. The majority will eventually want to reenter, often doing so in lesser positions or at lower earnings.

On the upside, from the point of view of the divorce attorney, focusing on planning for and finding new employment can help the nervous client to look beyond the litigation, move forward, and envision with optimism a new, rewarding life after divorce.

How does your client get to the place where she can move forward into the job market? She uses expert advice and support from many sources during divorce; for the greatest success in finding lucrative and meaningful employment post-divorce, she must also use all available resources.

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

One of the most difficult issues for reentry into the workforce is loss of self-esteem. It takes only a few years' absence from the workforce to undermine a client's confidence. Often, a divorcing client feels 'rusty,' having lost touch with the newer technology and other issues in her industry. Her network of professional contacts may well be outdated. The loss of self-confidence that flows from this can lead to 'analysis paralysis' ' or procrastination and inertia. When the client confesses, 'I don't even know where to begin,' what can you say? You are not a career counselor or psychiatrist, but you may want to be able to offer some helpful advice.

Our advice here is to tell your client, 'The first step is a step back.' Everybody in transition needs to stop, clarify their values, and identify what's important to them in their life moving forward. This must include identifying ways to heal, how to maintain her health and to make room for nourishment and joy in her life. Then she can evaluate employment options and consider how they will work with what is essential to her life and growth. Sometimes, this means temporarily taking jobs that are not ideal, but that meet her financial needs.

Next, because your client's former colleagues (if any) may have moved on and out of contact with her, she may need to call on newer resources to lay the groundwork toward a new career. These might include people in support groups, friends, family, former colleagues and neighbors met while volunteering in the community. Any of these might help her identify her assets and open her eyes to what she has done and is capable of. (After consulting with these people, she may be surprised and pleased to hear what they say!)

Other key resources may be your client's therapist, career/life transition coach, non-profit agencies, and the hundreds of books and articles out there on re-entry into the workforce. Private sector, community and four-year colleges offer programs ranging from a two-hour introductory class to an eight-week workshop on career decision-making. The Internet or a college alumni association offer local listings, as well. These programs can point participants to new resources such as support groups, networking resources (in person and online), professional organizations, government agencies, training programs, sources of advice for prospective entrepreneurs, etc.

What Work Do I Look For?

Is your client planning to re-start a career, launch a new one, or find a less demanding job that allows her to balance family demands or pursue other passions and interests? She might begin by creating an ideal job spec (e.g., restricted hours, light commute, interesting work, minimum compensation, strong career path, professional on-the-job training, or jobs in a growth industry). Remember, this is a starting point ' there is no perfect job (as there are no perfect spouses!). She must figure out on what items she is flexible, what items are non-negotiable, and why. She will need to think 'outside the-box,' picturing a different life with some new freedoms but also with new responsibilities. She will also need to think ahead ' how might her job requirements change in the future?

Obtaining professional advice from a therapist, career coach, accountant and financial planner is a good way to kick-start this process. When faced with such decisions, we often return to what's familiar. For example, we look for similar jobs that we had at age 25. But, it's a different world and we're not the same people at age 45! We have new life experiences, learning, skills, attitudes, responsibilities and energy.

Taking the First Steps to Reentry

The reentry process may at first feel overwhelming to your client. The best way for her to begin her quest is by preparing a 'map' to chart her course with milestones and time-frames. In creating her plan, she should keep in mind the following things:

There are expenses incurred in returning to work ' yes, it costs money to earn money! These may include school tuition or the costs of other training, wardrobe, briefcase for the interview, professional resume preparation, a car to get to work, and a new haircut. If you help her start formulating this 'budget' early in the divorce process, these expenses can be built into a settlement.

It will be necessary to build and nurture a network (research shows that between 40% to 70% of employment is obtained through the hidden job market found through a network of personal and professional contacts). Knowing how to effectively use this network is critical and there are many resources to guide this process: If your client had a career before, she could contact old colleagues, join a professional networking group or take a continuing education course related to her field. Most people's skill sets qualify them for more than one field of work, so it is optimal to prepare several r'sum's; different ones for different types of jobs and industries. Using an old r'sum' from 10 years ago will not suffice. R'sum's are never static. They should be in a constant state of change based on experience and feedback gained in the job search.

Job searchers should expand and update their skills and knowledge, e.g., by strengthening their computer skills, including Microsoft Office applications, or attending seminars on industry issues or to research and prepare for new careers. As noted above, attending such training courses could also lead to making the personal connections that could result in a job lead.

Those with advanced degrees should look into On-Ramp programs (see 'Off-Ramps and On-Ramps: Keeping Talented Women on the Road to Success,' Harvard Business School Press, 2007; see also resource listings at http://www.momsrising.org/files/Opt_In_Individual_Resources.pdf). On-Ramp programs seek to help women who have left a professional field for a year or more to re-enter that field, often with short, intensive courses aimed at bringing them back up to speed.

It may be useful to conduct research into growing industries. For example, the fact that the population is rapidly ageing means that geriatric and retirement industry employment will continue to expand.

Temporary or 'contract' employment is a good way to get started because it allows the person re-entering the workforce to experience different company cultures and industries, learn new skills and build a current employment history (with references!). Many temporary positions evolve into full-time employment for an employee who demonstrates a successful work history.

Planning how the family members will adjust to your client's reentering the workforce will ease the transition. This will require them to share more of the responsibilities that mother may previously have shouldered. Despite the hard work involved for others in the household, this can be an empowering growth experience for the family members, who may secretly feel proud of their contributions and new skills. Children who take on more household responsibilities take less for granted and are better prepared when they, too, go out on their own.

It is important for the client to put a plan in place to keep herself motivated, because this can be a discouraging, lonely process. However, friends, family, professional advisers and networking and job-search groups can support her during this transition. Finding the right job is a full-time job. The process can wear a person down. She must be aware of this and make sure to guard her image (tone of voice, energy, body language, articulation) so that she always conveys confidence and a winning attitude.

Above all, you will do your client a great service if you can help her to remember that with great challenges come great rewards. With the right planning and support, the divorce need not leave her totally bereft, but might eventually prove to be one of her most liberating, empowering and exciting periods of growth.

Rona Wexler, M.A., President of Wexler Consulting LLC, New York, is a Vocational Evaluator providing employabilty expert witness services in New York, New Jersey and Connecticut. She is a matrimonial specialist who has made numerous presentations about employment, the job search and career transitions. Ms. Wexler may be reached at www.wexler-consulting.com or at 646-335-5236.

For matrimonial clients, making their way through the emotional, logistical, financial and practical obstacles in divorce is obviously challenging. One of the most empowering and intimidating of these challenges for some spouses is beginning new employment, especially after years of absence from the job market. Whether it's an employment gap of 18 months or 18 years, it is scary ' and sometimes paralyzing ' to return to the workplace. And to make it even more stressful, the non-working spouse usually needs to find employment and income very quickly.

As we all well know, the greatest difficulty in this regard is experienced by women who have put careers on hold while caring for children, aging parents, or both. These women are not alone. According to the latest data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, nearly 40% of all women in the workforce are mothers with children under 18 years of age. The Center for Work Life Policy says that 60% of working women will step back in their careers or leave the workforce completely. The majority will eventually want to reenter, often doing so in lesser positions or at lower earnings.

On the upside, from the point of view of the divorce attorney, focusing on planning for and finding new employment can help the nervous client to look beyond the litigation, move forward, and envision with optimism a new, rewarding life after divorce.

How does your client get to the place where she can move forward into the job market? She uses expert advice and support from many sources during divorce; for the greatest success in finding lucrative and meaningful employment post-divorce, she must also use all available resources.

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

One of the most difficult issues for reentry into the workforce is loss of self-esteem. It takes only a few years' absence from the workforce to undermine a client's confidence. Often, a divorcing client feels 'rusty,' having lost touch with the newer technology and other issues in her industry. Her network of professional contacts may well be outdated. The loss of self-confidence that flows from this can lead to 'analysis paralysis' ' or procrastination and inertia. When the client confesses, 'I don't even know where to begin,' what can you say? You are not a career counselor or psychiatrist, but you may want to be able to offer some helpful advice.

Our advice here is to tell your client, 'The first step is a step back.' Everybody in transition needs to stop, clarify their values, and identify what's important to them in their life moving forward. This must include identifying ways to heal, how to maintain her health and to make room for nourishment and joy in her life. Then she can evaluate employment options and consider how they will work with what is essential to her life and growth. Sometimes, this means temporarily taking jobs that are not ideal, but that meet her financial needs.

Next, because your client's former colleagues (if any) may have moved on and out of contact with her, she may need to call on newer resources to lay the groundwork toward a new career. These might include people in support groups, friends, family, former colleagues and neighbors met while volunteering in the community. Any of these might help her identify her assets and open her eyes to what she has done and is capable of. (After consulting with these people, she may be surprised and pleased to hear what they say!)

Other key resources may be your client's therapist, career/life transition coach, non-profit agencies, and the hundreds of books and articles out there on re-entry into the workforce. Private sector, community and four-year colleges offer programs ranging from a two-hour introductory class to an eight-week workshop on career decision-making. The Internet or a college alumni association offer local listings, as well. These programs can point participants to new resources such as support groups, networking resources (in person and online), professional organizations, government agencies, training programs, sources of advice for prospective entrepreneurs, etc.

What Work Do I Look For?

Is your client planning to re-start a career, launch a new one, or find a less demanding job that allows her to balance family demands or pursue other passions and interests? She might begin by creating an ideal job spec (e.g., restricted hours, light commute, interesting work, minimum compensation, strong career path, professional on-the-job training, or jobs in a growth industry). Remember, this is a starting point ' there is no perfect job (as there are no perfect spouses!). She must figure out on what items she is flexible, what items are non-negotiable, and why. She will need to think 'outside the-box,' picturing a different life with some new freedoms but also with new responsibilities. She will also need to think ahead ' how might her job requirements change in the future?

Obtaining professional advice from a therapist, career coach, accountant and financial planner is a good way to kick-start this process. When faced with such decisions, we often return to what's familiar. For example, we look for similar jobs that we had at age 25. But, it's a different world and we're not the same people at age 45! We have new life experiences, learning, skills, attitudes, responsibilities and energy.

Taking the First Steps to Reentry

The reentry process may at first feel overwhelming to your client. The best way for her to begin her quest is by preparing a 'map' to chart her course with milestones and time-frames. In creating her plan, she should keep in mind the following things:

There are expenses incurred in returning to work ' yes, it costs money to earn money! These may include school tuition or the costs of other training, wardrobe, briefcase for the interview, professional resume preparation, a car to get to work, and a new haircut. If you help her start formulating this 'budget' early in the divorce process, these expenses can be built into a settlement.

It will be necessary to build and nurture a network (research shows that between 40% to 70% of employment is obtained through the hidden job market found through a network of personal and professional contacts). Knowing how to effectively use this network is critical and there are many resources to guide this process: If your client had a career before, she could contact old colleagues, join a professional networking group or take a continuing education course related to her field. Most people's skill sets qualify them for more than one field of work, so it is optimal to prepare several r'sum's; different ones for different types of jobs and industries. Using an old r'sum' from 10 years ago will not suffice. R'sum's are never static. They should be in a constant state of change based on experience and feedback gained in the job search.

Job searchers should expand and update their skills and knowledge, e.g., by strengthening their computer skills, including Microsoft Office applications, or attending seminars on industry issues or to research and prepare for new careers. As noted above, attending such training courses could also lead to making the personal connections that could result in a job lead.

Those with advanced degrees should look into On-Ramp programs (see 'Off-Ramps and On-Ramps: Keeping Talented Women on the Road to Success,' Harvard Business School Press, 2007; see also resource listings at http://www.momsrising.org/files/Opt_In_Individual_Resources.pdf). On-Ramp programs seek to help women who have left a professional field for a year or more to re-enter that field, often with short, intensive courses aimed at bringing them back up to speed.

It may be useful to conduct research into growing industries. For example, the fact that the population is rapidly ageing means that geriatric and retirement industry employment will continue to expand.

Temporary or 'contract' employment is a good way to get started because it allows the person re-entering the workforce to experience different company cultures and industries, learn new skills and build a current employment history (with references!). Many temporary positions evolve into full-time employment for an employee who demonstrates a successful work history.

Planning how the family members will adjust to your client's reentering the workforce will ease the transition. This will require them to share more of the responsibilities that mother may previously have shouldered. Despite the hard work involved for others in the household, this can be an empowering growth experience for the family members, who may secretly feel proud of their contributions and new skills. Children who take on more household responsibilities take less for granted and are better prepared when they, too, go out on their own.

It is important for the client to put a plan in place to keep herself motivated, because this can be a discouraging, lonely process. However, friends, family, professional advisers and networking and job-search groups can support her during this transition. Finding the right job is a full-time job. The process can wear a person down. She must be aware of this and make sure to guard her image (tone of voice, energy, body language, articulation) so that she always conveys confidence and a winning attitude.

Above all, you will do your client a great service if you can help her to remember that with great challenges come great rewards. With the right planning and support, the divorce need not leave her totally bereft, but might eventually prove to be one of her most liberating, empowering and exciting periods of growth.

Rona Wexler, M.A., President of Wexler Consulting LLC, New York, is a Vocational Evaluator providing employabilty expert witness services in New York, New Jersey and Connecticut. She is a matrimonial specialist who has made numerous presentations about employment, the job search and career transitions. Ms. Wexler may be reached at www.wexler-consulting.com or at 646-335-5236.